


Woman

by ca_te



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-11 13:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written on 22 February 2010. Written for dn_contest over at Livejournal. <br/>Warnings: Rated M for a reason, high angst content</p>
    </blockquote>





	Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Written on 22 February 2010. Written for dn_contest over at Livejournal.   
> Warnings: Rated M for a reason, high angst content

When she was younger, when she still was back in Los Angeles, the thought of a family, of a child, didn't make any sense to her. What made sense was the thrill, the pride of having been able to solve a case after the other, the pleasure to see each piece fall into its place. That had made sense, and Naomi really had thought that it would have always been like that. She loved her job and anyways she had seen what marrying and building up a family had made of her mother. Naomi had listened to her sobs echoing in the little kitchen of their house at night, his father sleeping in their room as if nothing was wrong.

But, just as sometimes in a case there were those sudden turns which could cast a completely different light on the pattern of action of some serial killer, one day Naomi met Raye.

It was autumn, and it was raining, that grey, persistent and irritating rain. Naomi was having a break for lunch, the investigation was stuck anyways and L had told them that there were things he ought to analyze on his own before proceeding farther. Naomi was sitting in a little, gloomy bar, looking at the cars passing outside, a coffee in front of her. A man entered the place, Naomi had never been the kind of person who stared at people, not because it was rude but because it meant exposing herself, and definitely that wasn't what they had taught her during her training years. But on that autumn, rainy day she couldn't help to tilt her head to the side. The man definitely was half-Japanese, Naomi could tell from the cut of his eyes. As the man turned and noticed her staring he stiffened but then smiled gently. Naomi thought that the little wrinkles he had at the corner of his eyes were quite nice. She blushed at the thought and focused her attention on the mug of coffee in front of her.

When she got back to the head quarters L called her, in the end she was the only one in the task force whom he had agreed to be seen by. He told her there was a new member who was supposed to arrive, Naomi quirked a black eyebrow but didn't say anything, in the end it was L she was speaking with. When she went back in the other room the man from the bar was standing there, coat on his arm and briefcase in his right hand. Naomi felt her eyes widen but tried to keep it under control, in the end it was nothing, and she wasn't a professional for anything.

-I suppose you are the new member.

The man nodded, put the briefcase on the ground and stretched out his hand.

-I'm Raye Penber. I'll be working with this taskforce from now on.

Naomi took his hand, it was firm and yet his skin was soft. She thought that his accent was quite peculiar, she probably was right thinking that he was half-Japanese.

-I'm Naomi Misora. I'll be your supervisor.

 

 

 

That's how it had started. Then the case was solved and their rhythm of life slowed down. They got to know each other better, and all was new for Naomi, because, really, she had never been interested in romance or anything like that when she was younger, when the other girls had in mind just their boyfriends and their first kisses, the only thing she had in mind was to study hard, to arrive where she wanted, to get strong and not be wounded as her mother had been. But with Raye everything seemed safe and somehow softer. Before she could even realize she had fallen in love with him.

After a couple of years they got married, and she decided to left the FBI to build what she had always considered nothing more than a cage, a family. A family with Raye, who was the first and only one who had made her wanting to be a woman, as women were supposed to be.

 

 

When Raye was sent to Japan by the FBI within the scope of an international taskforce to investigate over the so called Kira case Naomi decided to follow him. It was when they already were in Japan that she started feeling weird in the morning. It was December, she had waken up shivering, the other side of the bed already empty because Raye had left early in the morning. She had gotten up and prepared herself a coffee, but the simple smell of it made her run to the bathroom. As she washed her face she tried to calm down. She bit her lower lip and turned in front of the mirror, looking at her profile, she didn't seem fatter. She felt embarrassed at the thought, it was true that it had been years from that day when she met Raye, years from the first time she had felt him inside her, holding her tight, years from when she had thought to have become a woman, but yet, yet certain thoughts seemed not to belong into her head, as if only "normal" women were supposed to have them, not her.

It was on a cold December day, when they already were in Japan, that Naomi went around looking for a present for Raye's birthday and going back home she stopped at a pharmacy. She tapped away with her nails on the counter, her cheeks red, as the young lady behind the counter was looking for what she had asked.

Outside the sun was setting as Naomi walked back and forth in the living room, counting down the minutes which were left, biting at her nails and thinking of Raye, somewhere outside, on the traces of that god of death that Kira was. She swallowed dry and tried to push the thought aside at least for the moment.

The alarm clock went off. Five minutes had passed and Naomi walked slowly towards the bathroom. She took in a deep breath and with trembling fingers reached for the pregnancy test lying beside the sink.

She stared at the two pink lines in front of her eyes, she felt her knees giving in and slowly knelt over the tiled floor, her black hair dangling lightly in front of her face. She didn't know for how long she remained there, sitting, her mind screaming to do something, to react, and her body not listening. The she heard the sound of the door being closed and she knew that Raye was back. Slowly she got back on her feet and, the plastic stick still in her hand, walked into the other room.

She looked straight into Raye's eyes, and just the sight of the blue of her husband eyes made something tremble inside of her, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Raye moved closer, still respecting the silence that she had built, and Naomi handed him the little stick. As Raye lowered his gaze on it she whipped away that single tear with the sleeve of her jumper.

Raye lifted his gaze again, wrinkles at the corner of his eyes as he smiled. Seeing Raye's smile made something melt inside Naomi, and something changed. What before was fear, fear of Raye not wanting this, fear of this creature being born as Raye was chasing after that monster, melted away into joy, joy to be bearing Raye's child, joy to be able to be a woman completely.

Raye let the stick fall to the floor and surrounded her with his arms, Naomi hid his face in his chest, letting his warmth caress her skin. The "I love you" that she whispered made Raye's eyes watery.

 

 

The day Raye died Naomi saw her world break down into pieces, and it was as if all what she had been in those years had been taken away and she wasn't nothing more than a doll, with the little light of her and Raye's child inside. It was the little creature growing up in her womb to give her the strength to decide to continue, to go on, to revenge her love's death. Because if when she had been alone she was strong only for herself, having been with Raye, being pregnant with his child, had taught her how being strong for someone else was way more important.

So she decided to go the police, to ask to join the investigation, because she hadn't worked by L's side for no reason in the past, and she knew that there was something off with the boy Raye had been following when he had died. And really when she met Light she knew she was right, she knew but the desire to get payback for what Kira had taken from her betrayed her. And the moment she gave him her driving license and he looked up at her, she knew that she was going to die. From that moment on it was as if her mind had gone blank, her body moving on its own accord. But just when she was about to kill herself, as Light as decided, her mind cleared out for a second, maybe it was because death was closer than ever, maybe because the little creature inside of her sent her some spark of energy, whatever was the reason she managed to give her last thought to what in the end had made her life worth living, Raye, and the little thing inside of her, the little thing that would remain inside of her.


End file.
